So there's a land where
fairies used to dance and play in happy meadows, and there's a young knight
wandering through it on his way back from falconing, and he sees a chick
alone so he rapes her, as any man would do after a long day's falconing. And then instead of killing him, the queen says they'll
spare his life if he can go on a one year journey and find out what it is that
women want the most.
He should have just asked to be killed, AM I RIGHT?! Who could ever figure out what women want, RIGHT MEN?! Women! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA so funny everyone loves jokes about men resenting their wives and not understanding their partners. Nothing hurtful or disrespectful there, no sir!
He should have just asked to be killed, AM I RIGHT?! Who could ever figure out what women want, RIGHT MEN?! Women! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA so funny everyone loves jokes about men resenting their wives and not understanding their partners. Nothing hurtful or disrespectful there, no sir!
 |
| HAHAHA THIS IS WHAT MARRIAGE IS LIKE AM I RIGHT |
So sir Rapesalot heads out on his quest to find
out what chicks dig, but they all tell him different stuff, which can't be
right because obviously all women are the same and all want the same thing. So
he finds the old hag that tells him (like so many people in these stories do)
that he has to sign a blank check redeemable for one promise, so he does. As it
turns out, women just want to have power over men, which really isn't the worst
thing to want at this time, since they're getting raped left and right then
pardoned for it (at the request of other women for some
reason).
She cashes in on the promise by trapping him into marriage (HAHAHA EVERY MARRIAGE IS A TRAP AM I RIGHT) and he's like "damn, this sucks cuz you ain't a 10, you a 0." So this magical lady with a train-wreck face asks if he'd rather have an ugly loyal wife or a hot slut, and he's like "idk what do you want?" and because he lets her choose, he gets a hot and loyal wife, which would otherwise obviously not be possible, because women can't be pretty and nice at the same time.
So here's what we've learned:
1) Rape is okay if you go on a quest afterward so someone can explain why it was bad
2) All women are the same and want the same thing and it's power
2) Being indecisive will get you laid
3) MARRIAGE IS A TRAP AM I RIGHT HAHAHAH
She cashes in on the promise by trapping him into marriage (HAHAHA EVERY MARRIAGE IS A TRAP AM I RIGHT) and he's like "damn, this sucks cuz you ain't a 10, you a 0." So this magical lady with a train-wreck face asks if he'd rather have an ugly loyal wife or a hot slut, and he's like "idk what do you want?" and because he lets her choose, he gets a hot and loyal wife, which would otherwise obviously not be possible, because women can't be pretty and nice at the same time.
So here's what we've learned:
1) Rape is okay if you go on a quest afterward so someone can explain why it was bad
2) All women are the same and want the same thing and it's power
2) Being indecisive will get you laid
3) MARRIAGE IS A TRAP AM I RIGHT HAHAHAH
I have to agree that the tale does seem pretty misogynistic at times, but I'm not going to hold that against Chaucer since he wrote in the 1300s. While I agree that women certainly want different things (my ex and her bestie were proof enough of that), I think having the knight discover one answer is crucial for the plot. If he could just come back and give any old answer, then his quest would be kind of pointless since he would have to put in basically zero effort.
ReplyDeleteI also wouldn't say the knight is indecisive at the end, since he willingly agrees to give up power. He thinks about it for a while, so it seems like he's decided *something.* Does he suffer as much as he should? No, but I'm with Dr. MB on this one--mercy's always one of the highest virtues, even if someone doesn't deserve it. (Although a little more suffering in this tale would have been appropriate.)
I agree with Sam when he says that mercy is one of the highest virtues. I agree that finding one answer was a great way to move the plot along. And I agree that Chaucer did write this in the 1300s, when this type of view toward women was typical. I do not agree, however, that this pardons Chaucer (or any other person who thought of women as inferior beings). I have never heard someone say, "well, yes, they raped, beat, and killed the slaves that they owned and demanded to do work they were too lazy to do, but everyone was doing that back then, AM I RIGHT?" Loved that, by the way. I truly laughed when I was reading the "HAHAHAs"
ReplyDeleteANYWAY, I struggled with this story too, but more-so because of the women than the man. There will always be people who choose to do things for selfish reasons. And there will always be people who are not justly punished for their bad treatment toward others, but I think it is the way other people respond to that "bad-doer" which means more. The women in this story disappointed me. But when don't women disappoint, AM I RIGHT?!
HAHAHAH EXACTLY!!11!
DeleteYeah, I'm with Hayley on this one Sam. The time doesn't make up for the behavior, which is why the start of this tale is pretty bomb. Like, rape would be punished with a beheading which really speaks to how it's viewed. Even in the 1300s rape was deplorable (to a point).
ReplyDeleteI think the knight's hesitation at the end of the tale isn't linked to any sort of deep thought. In order to give over power truly is to do it sincerely. This knight doesn't read as sincere to me but rather as defeated. He is submitting in a way that is forced on him (sorta like the rape he was doing at the beginning of the story). I can find satisfaction in the idea that he is staring into a horrible void and is forced to cut the only string of hope he has, sending him into the hands of the witch woman. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to be the punishing sort so his life will probably be awesome and he'll never really understand why rape is so bad. JUST LIKE NOWADAYS, AMIRITE!! #columbia #universityofvirgina #allcollegeseverywhere!