Love is too complicated... smh crazy people

Okay so before I go on this weird and probably over exaggerated tangent, I just want to say that I really enjoyed reading these Lais: Equitan, Le Fresne, and Bisclavret. In each of the readings there wasn’t anything that is too out there and too different from what we read today. Or correction at least the crazy and creepy shit I read in my own spare time.

Where should I start... hmmmm? I guess I will start with Equitan. Can I just say one thing? Why is this woman trying to find any reason not to be with the King aside the fact that SHE IS FUCKING MARRIED!!!  To me that would be one of the most obvious reasons why you should not start an affair. BUT NOOOOO she only tries to tell him that she is not worthy because she is not in the same class as he is. I don’t think class should really matter when it comes to love, but that if there is something else like (cough cough… A MARRIAGE) then you should re- think how great you love is. Plus no offense but how can you fall in love or want a woman when you never seen her. I love (note the sarcasm) how he doesn’t want to hurt his seneschal because he owes him as much to not steal his wife but then he throws that thought out cuz he wants a lover. Like WTF you just had a good thought to be loyal to your guy, but then you say, “Fuck it all!!” 

 

Well all I can say is that the King and the wife got what they deserved. YOU SHOULD NEVER LET THE PENIS RULE YOU!!!!! At least not where you’re becoming a home wrecker.

  

 

So now onto Le Fresne all I have to say is that Jealousy is a vile thing. Why would you go and start a rumor over a woman, let alone your neighbor just because she is carrying two twin boys. Instead of being happy LIKE ANY NORMAL PERSON you have to become a petty b*ach and start spreading rumors. Well guess what Karma must have been hella hungry cuz they came and bit you in the ass. Now it is you who is having twin girls. So to makes sure you don’t sound like a hypocrite you give away your baby. Does no one see anything wrong about giving up your baby to be sent to a convent?  But at least in the end it is on a happier note. The long lost twin is reunited with her family and then she got to marry her love. It was weird but ok I will go along with it. At least no one died.

Bisclavret was probably my favorite of the three. Maybe it is because I am OBSESSED with weird supernatural beings. All I know is that if my husband was part werewolf I would be jumping for joy. Well at least I would once I made sure he wouldn’t hurt me. If he was anything like Jacob from Twilight or like Scott from Teen Wolf.

 

I thought love meant that you stick together like glue and even if you know your man or you turn into a hideous creature your partner/lover should love you just the same If not more because your partner can TAKE CARE OF YOU BETTER!!! She a stupid hoe!!! How you going to abandon a great guy to marry an average Joe? like why would you give up on the sexiness????

  

In line 139 I liked how it said, “When the hounds were unleashed” it reminds me of hearing stories about the hounds of hell and how they were wild but protective of who they loved. I just find that interesting and I just got to say it’s her loss maybe she should have stuck with the sexy werewolf then she would still have a nose.

 

An Upgrade from Beowulf!

These lais were pretty fun to read, especially considering I read Norse Eddas and Sagas and Roman Lays. So instead of reading about the awful things men do to men, I can read about the awful things men do to women and women to women! And wolf-men to men and women. Yikes. At least before I was reading the old time-y version of 300...

Right from the start we get violence from Equitan which shows us that you shouldn't be evil lest evil be done to you. Good moral. Of course, this plan was doomed from the start (what do they think this guy is? seafood dinner?). And a victory bone in the tub should be done after the victim is killed, not that I would know. Because it seems less like karmic fate in the end and more "maniacal justice."

The correct way to prepare a boiled dinner.

At least no one died in Le Fresne. Still, ruining your neighbor's life just because you're jealous is a bit extreme. Especially considering your jealousy is over gross babies. The first act of this story essentially repeats the moral of our last story with less "Game of Thrones" worthy murders before moving on to the love story and concluding with the ever so familiar "long lost relative" story. Surprisingly, this ends happily! Must've gotten all the drama out of our systems with the intro.

Bisclavret threw me off a bit. When I think "Medieval werewolf," I think "rampaging monster" and not "dude who needs to keep his clothes on." Well, that's one modern stereotype that doesn't conform with past ideas. What about "sexy" werewolves from trashy romance novels? Well the wife didn't want anything to do with that furry mess. Then what were werewolves doing in those old stories?!

Pictured: Not our werewolf.

Even more surprising is how cool everyone was with it like, "Dude! A talking buppy!" Wasn't this supposed to be the time of superstitious fear mongering? And he attacks a knight at a party and everyone is privy that it's for revenge so they just forgive him! And he rips his wife's nose off and everyone thinks, "She had it coming maybe. Let's torture her to find out... Yeah, she had it coming." Way to go Medieval people... at least you stick to the fun stereotypes. In the end the wise man helps the knight assume his human form and everyone good lives happily ever after. How does the wise man know so much about werewolves anyway? I'm glad the story ended with the disclaimer this all actually happened for realsies. Cause a noseless lady having noseless kids? I would've thought all these stories were made up otherwise!

-Brian