Insestious beginnings but Happy Ending??

            OK so can we all agree that INSEST is really weird and Nasty!! The fact that Emare’s father wanted to marry her after the death of his wife and just based on the fact that Emare is gorgeous. That does not give him a good reason to be interested in his DAUGHTER!!

 

So just because he is mad that she says NO to him he decides to be a child and put her on a boat with no food and just let her possibly DIE at sea. What kind of father is that?? I’m sorry that your daughter doesn’t want to marry her daddy. She actually wants a good life and to find her own love.

 

 

            I don’t know about you but I don’t think any daughter in her right mind would want to marry her daddy unless she is in one of those cultures/ communities that encourage incest. You know the ones that believe you should, “keep everything in the family” or by marrying your cousin you are “keeping your family line pure.”

            Luckily she survives being at sea for a week and gets to an island safely and happens to fall in love with the king of the island who eventually marries her.

 

 

 Even though his mother thinks Emare is a devil. After the wedding the king has to leave for France and Emare has their son who her mother-in law thinks is a monster. If her mother in law just let everything be there would not be any problems. So the high and mighty mother in law decides to forge letters to her son and spread lies because she doesn’t want her precious baby boy to be married. Eventually the monster- in law gets her way and gets rid of Emare and her son.

 

 

            Off to sea again Emare starts living in Rome with her baby boy for 7 years. Then when her husband gets back to his island he learns how crazy his mama is and decides to finally get rid of her before the King just so happens, by chance, to arrive in Rome. Where he eventually gets his wife and son back in his life. In the end everything turns out well. Emare even forgives her ancient dad for what he did and have a great feast.

 

 All in all I really liked this story even though I wanted to just throw the mother- in law off a bridge or send her off in a boat without anything and see what happens to her.

 

 

 

What is Love? Nah.. More like an unfair fight!!

 

I have to admit that I like the fact that Greek Gods were involved. Seeing as I am kind of obsessed. But onto the story Theseus is either weird or willing to spend boatful’s of money on a tournament and three temples for the Gods: Venus, Mars and Diana. Then as the tournament gets closer the people all gather to watch the battle. Both of our knights, Palamon and Arcite return with their magnificent armies. The before the battle each person, Palamon, Arcite and Emelye go to one of the temples to ask for help. Palamon goes to the temple of Venus and tells her how much he desires to be with Emelye and asks Venus to help him win in the name of love. Venus sends him this mysterious sign and basically says, “I am on your side of this battle.”

            Then a few hours later Emelye goes to the temple of Diana and asks to remain a virgin and not have to marry either of them. Then Diana appears in front of her and tells her that she has to marry one of them. Then Emelye just goes back to her room and basically just accept the fact she has to marry someone who she doesn’t really know. I think that when a woman is getting married shouldn’t she be … don’t know somewhat excited to get married not indifferent. But you know that is just my opinion I think marriage should be about EQUAL LOVE on the side of both the man and the woman. Not that “Oh I have to marry you because Diana said so and because you’re the only one left alive.”

 

            Later that same day Arcite goes to the temple of Mars and begs the god of war for help winning the battle and he gets a sign as well and Mars whispers  “Victory!” which in my mind the way I envisioned it was a little eerie and creepy. Then we get to see the god’s point of view. Where Saturn, Venus’s dad tells her that Palamon will win even if Mars helps Arcite.

 

            Then comes the FEAST. Because you cannot have a battle without a gigantic feast.

 

 Then the battle starts and Theseus goes on about the rules of the battle and then the bloody massacre begins.

 

 

Palamon fights alright but in the end Arcite wins and everyone is happy especially Emelye when Theseus states that Arcite is the winner but because Venus starts crying and her daddy wants to fix everything he kills Arcite by making and earthquake appear and injure him. On his death bed he tells Emelye how much he loved her and that she should marry his cousin if she were to get married. Then after a time warp of mourning Palamon and Emelye get married and are eventually happy.

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let's Talk About Death Baby

I know that we're supposed to be taking a look at the gods and how they're prayed to but I figure that we're going to be talking about that enough in class that I'll talk about something less relevant. I do have some related questions but that'll come after the awesome death of Arcite. Personally, I don't care for either Palamoun or Arcite but that death scene was cringe worthy.

Firstly, boy gets a page and a half of a death scene. I mean... I guess that's not very impressive in the context of this story...but they are some descriptive pages. His chest is broken to pieces, he's got blood poisoning, swelling. Just overall blech. I appreciate that this bit was left in and wasn't transformed into some glorious, honorable thing. I mean, he gets that through his own speech but his wounds aren't romanticized (and they shouldn't. THERE IS NOTHING SEXY ABOUT PUSS). 

Secondly, I don't actually have a second point. I'm on the fence with Arcite's dying words. Like...truth be told, if I were to write a fanfiction of this story Palamon and Arcite would be gettin it with each other. Even though his last words are a plea to Emelye, the most emotion is around Palamoun. Arcite lists off all these great things about Palamon (granting Emelye's prayer of their reconciliation) and they're meant to be mortal enemies in love. If that's not a rom-com plot then I don't know what is. Which is why him saying "Mercy, Emelye!" seemed like a cop out of love. In my opinion those are a lot less influential than what Arcite feels toward Palamoun but because Emelye is the pretty girl we need to tie in that romance plot (even though it's the weaker one in my opinion).

Thirdly, Arcite's death made me like Theseus a little bit more. I just appreciate that he brought some reality to the situation with the "everybody dies" speech. I know that at most deaths that's not the typical PC thing to say but I found the reminder helpful. I think that once you can normalize the death you've got control over your response. Yes, Arcite died of terrible battle wounds but people will always die...and...ya'know...your chances kinda increase when you challenge someone to a battle to the death. Just saying. 

Okay, so I don't really have a way to wrap this up so I'm just going to ask some unrelated questions. I'm curious to know what the feelings were about these mixed religions. You've got people praising God and the Greek Deities, so what's up with that? Why are some weapons seen as more honorable than others? That has never made since to me and it just makes me think of the logic of this scene.

Medieval Hercules at His Finest

 I really don’t mid this story that much, I actually sort of like it. Its got a lot of action a great adventure for a good cause, but the only part that was getting on my nerves was all the complaining from her and how much she’s all over the place with her relationships. One page she’s deeply in love with Lancelot, she sees him like and angel that fell from haven…. Then when he crossed that ultimate hard sword bridge he like thought about leaving and going back for like 2 seconds and bang right turn she hates him, doesn’t even want to be around him for awhile.

Of course later she falls for him again like he’s a modern Brad Pitt and he’s the man again.

This story kind of reminds me of Hercules. A strong man solder type person on a mission that everyone hates but secretly sort of resents, then he goes off and proves his worth and gains respect of all the people, becomes a hero and lastly has to go on a big mission that will save his lover, nut also put his life in danger. Hercules was always my favorite Disney movie growing up…. So maybe that’s why this one of my favorite stories we’ve read so far because they both have such similar story lines…. Almost to similar.

I don’t think it’s just Hercules that is similar to this story and Lancelot; to me I see a relationship with a lot of hero type books or movies. They are special, rejected at first, then people start to love them, then they find the love of their life, then they are put in a situation where they have to choose between their safety and the safety of others, you think they are going to fail then all of a sudden they save everyone and live happily ever after. 

An Over-dramatic Queen

When Lancelot makes it across the sword bridge to help the queen, she is excited at first, but she then refuses to see him. This is because she saw that Lancelot hesitated before getting into the cart, and she is mad that he actually thought about himself before deciding to continue on with his journey to rescue her. In my opinion, I would have just been happy that he came in the first place! Never mind his thoughts to give up. At least he decided to come rather than leave you in the other kingdom, right? It takes so much energy to be mad at someone you were excited to see, so I honestly just do not see the point in being angry. She's just being over-dramatic.

Alright, alright... she gets over it eventually, and then, she sleeps with him of all things! Where did that come from?! I mean, come on! Make up your mind lady! First you are happy, then you are mad, and now, you are in love with your husband's knight. This is all just a huge mess, and it breaks and follows some of the rules of courtly love, which does not help with the whole thing. Lancelot follows one of the courtly love rules (rule number fourteen) when he decides to get in the cart because his thoughts of turning back when the queen came to his mind. However, the queen broke rule number nine when she refuses to see Lancelot and is mad at him because she then goes back and falls all over him, madly in love.

I think that women are portrayed as over-dramatic far too often. I am not denying that we are over-dramatic, because we definitely can be, but so can men. My question is, why should the queen be so angry at Lancelot when he decided to come to her rescue despite the risk of losing his honor? I mean, what is the point/the big deal? So he hesitated. WHO CARES? IT WAS JUST FOR A SECOND!! Why can't the queen just be thankful he came in the first place?

I am a tad annoyed with her actions...can you tell? Sure it is just a story, and it is meant to be entertaining, but is all that drama and her little tantrum necessary? I think not.

SUPERMAN MADE A COMBACK!!!!

So, I swear Lancelot is like a medieval version of superman. He is so invincible, and he goes through all these fights and self-injuries and yet he can still jump up and be ready to do it all over again. He has to be a mutant or something to be able to bounce back from soooo many injuries.

            Then when Lancelot finally finds Guinevere she is happy for a little bit, then she gets upset because, she is a stalker, and watched him hesitate when he was getting into the cart for her. Then she gives him the cold shoulder and basically drives him away.

So he decides to go and try and find his friend Gawain, but then Guinevere calls him back and apologizes to him for being so cold to him. Then Lancelot breaks in to her tower later that night and then they spent a passionate night together. As he is breaking into her room he injures his hand and leaves blood all over Guinevere's sheets.

   

Lancelot then sneaks out of the tower before sunrise, and Meleagant (Crazy kidnapper) accuses Guinevere of committing adultery with Kay, because he is the only wounded knight nearby. Lancelot comes to the rescue and challenges Meleagant to a fight to defend Guinevere’s honor. Meleagant’s father interferes and convinces Meleagant and Lancelot to hold off their fight for a year. Over the year, Lancelot gets tricked by another dwarf and forced to be a prisoner, while Guinevere is allowed to return home. LIKE CANT THIS DUDE CATCH A BREAK?? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 When the year is up he goes and fights, Lancelot bargains with his captors to let him go and fight, and that he promises to return. When he finally did fight Meleagant, Guinevere asks for him to lose to prove his love. He obliges and when he starts to lose, Guinevere changes her proposal, now hoping for him to win. Lancelot does what she wants and whoops Meleagant’s ass. If she really wanted him to say “I LOVE YOU,” SHE SHOULD HAVE JUST ASKED.

 

.But I can honestly say he thought he was looking fresh in that all red suit and horse matching to boot.

Machismo (My secret love)

Ok, so remember how on Thursday I was all like, "Lancelot just wanted to whip out his dick when he crossed the sword bridge."

I have a confession.

I eat that shit up for breakfast.

OH GOD, NO! IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M IMPLYING I EAT DICKS! NOOOOOOOO.

What I mean to say is that I do like over exaggerated acts of macho-ness, but only in fictional settings. If you ever step up to me and pull anything like this crap just to show off manliness, I will junk punch you. But, if you happen to be a part of the Straw Hat pirate crew then I will swoon. Like, I will seriously loose my shit.

So why doesn't this work for the Knight of the Cart? Why aren't I excited to read about Lancelot fighting for his lady love while still wounded? Honestly, I don't have a rock solid answer.

My suspicion is that the narrator of the story is already doing my job as an audience member for me. Lets take the moment where King Bademagu spends 8 MILLION YEARS explaining to Lancelot that his wounds are too severe for him to fight the King's own bad-ass kid. Lancelot has to keep saying that he will go on, this fight isn't over, he won't sit down and rest, BLAH BLAH BLAH. I am seriously underwhelmed by the entire scene. If the king had kept his awe in check, maybe explain the severity of the wounds but not the necessity for healing I might have swooned. 

Now, past me would have tried to come up with some sort of excuse. Perhaps reader participation wasn't a big part of written works (bullshit), What if this is the way that they hype up situations (possibly). Again, I don't really have an answer to my question.

All this talk about manliness does bring me to King Bad. I don't know how to read him as a character. His idea of the honorable thing, the right thing, and I suspect the manly thing, is to surrender. 

Well, maybe the surrender bit isn't meant to be manly but the only thing that will maintain someone's manliness. What would a man be without his honor? Not a man. Still, King Bad is just so malleable as a leader and an individual which isn't something I typically associate with idolized manhood. And he doesn't even have the convenient excuse of being in Love with someone. Lancelot is a puppet of Love and I mean that in a nice way. I think. I haven't decided yet. 

The Knight of the Cart...a Disgrace??

In this story, I've come to the realization that Chretien is not particularly fond of dwarves. Why he makes them out to be so horrible, I have no idea, but this brings me to the cart that the dwarf had.

Why is it such a big deal that the knight rode in the cart? The knight got into the cart so that they could learn what happened to their queen. Is that not honorable in itself?! I know the story is kind of vague at times (especially with characters), but why is riding in a cart so horrible? Why should that even matter, especially when he did it for his queen?

Another thing that I want to bring up is the bed that they are supposedly too undeserving to sleep in. What does this bed symbolize, assuming it is of importance? I'm not sure exactly was going on in this part of the story. There was something about fire and a lance, I think. It was a little hard for me to follow.

Overall, I was somewhat confused by this story. Yes, it was interesting, but it was vague and jumped around at times, which made it hard to follow.

Many Knights, Dwarfs and Love??

 

        Okay so first thing, why are Dwarfs so bad? In this story and in Erec and Enide they describe Dwarfs as being these horrible, rude and despicable creatures. I always thought dwarfs as being cute and adorable like the one in Snow White. Like Dopy, he was ADORABLE!!

 I just wanted to grab him and hug him ohh soooo much. Sorry about my little rant about how adorable dopy is... like seriously when I was younger all I wanted to do is pinch his cheeks. Kind of like what those weird grandmas do even though you’re a grown adult. Smh I am getting off track….back to the task at hand. Like I was saying Chretien de Troyes loves to use dwarfs I just think they are cute not as grotesque as he portrays them.

 

        Another thing I did not understand was why is it so HORRIBLE to have a cart? I would think it would be I don’t know…. Helpful!!... I know that if I was on a long   journey I would not mind having a cart. I would be able to hold all of my belongings. Even though when I think of it, having a cart would kind of make it easier for someone to rob me. Maybe having a cart is a bad thing because it shows weakness and shows robbers how easy it is for them to rob the cart owner. I have no idea!

 

 

        Another thing I want to rant about is why Chretien de Troyes never gives appropriate names for his characters. He never differentiated between all the knights in his story. The only knights I can keep track of are "the knight of the cart" a.k.a Sir Lancelot and Sir Gawain. Their journeys are so complicated and confusing. It seriously makes my head spin kind of like a twister.

        The sword bridge annoyed me. They talk about how dangerous and treacherous the bridge was and how no one has ever been able to cross it. It’s like this ominous being. It takes Lancelot forever to get to the bridge but then when he gets there in like 2 seconds he crosses the bridge with ease although he got injured but it felt like a major let down after all this work building up how scary and ominous the bridge is.

Sexy Hospitality

I feel like there is always something about these readings that I find that, in the right hands, could be insightful. In mine they sorta turn into unintelligible mush but you know what, you got to play to your strengths.

What instantly struck me about Erec and Enide was the emphasis on looks. I mean, people are sexy in this story.

It's making me start to understand the romance part a bit more. I mean just listen to this, 

"Such beauty was his that nowhere on earth could be found a knight so handsome. Though not yet twenty-five, he was most noble, brave, and becoming. Never had any man his age displayed such valor. What more can I say of his good qualities?" (Chretien, pg.2)

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this is the fan service part for the ladies. I'm just working on the assumption that crazy machismo existed in this period and that there is an underlying 'no homo' stamped here.

(I hope that I'm wrong. Someone tell me that there was an abundance of homo happening, please.)

But, back to my point. While I still have no idea what Erec actually looks like, he sounds like a dream boat. Of course he's got nothing on the Vavasor's daughter. She is the bomb diggity. (OMG, STAY TO THE POINT IRIS.) 

Up until this point there hasn't been a moment where the attractiveness of the man took front seat to that of the woman's. That is what makes me buy that women were sponsors to this genre. 

Okay, so how does this get into hospitality? PLOT TWIST, It doesn't.

I don't know man, I couldn't make them relate to one another. It was just the other thing that kept popping into my mind as I read. I'm sure that hospitality is a sexy quality/ behavior to some.

 It is totally something that I'd like to know a little bit more about. In comparison to the way these stories explain hospitality, I am a terrible host. I was along for the ride with the vavasor right up until he gave away his daughter that he apparently was super fond of (just not enough to keep). It's a great moment of plot progression but it is...seedy? And even for the time it seems seedy. It doesn't appear to me that Erec has any proof that he could provide for his new lady friend but the dad was none to bothered by it.

If I were to make a chart, hospitality would be up there on some of the best qualities to have in any medieval story. I'm assuming its got to do with Jesus, in part, but it must also be cultural. I wonder where that went because I know that if someone rolled up to my door right now they are not getting a meal, information, a horse cleaning, and my daughter. No matter who they claim to be. Wow, now that I say all of that I feel like it can all be summed up with suspension of disbelief and that I should just get over it. 

Whelp, I wrote an incoherent blog post about it anyway. So there!

Love is too complicated... smh crazy people

Okay so before I go on this weird and probably over exaggerated tangent, I just want to say that I really enjoyed reading these Lais: Equitan, Le Fresne, and Bisclavret. In each of the readings there wasn’t anything that is too out there and too different from what we read today. Or correction at least the crazy and creepy shit I read in my own spare time.

Where should I start... hmmmm? I guess I will start with Equitan. Can I just say one thing? Why is this woman trying to find any reason not to be with the King aside the fact that SHE IS FUCKING MARRIED!!!  To me that would be one of the most obvious reasons why you should not start an affair. BUT NOOOOO she only tries to tell him that she is not worthy because she is not in the same class as he is. I don’t think class should really matter when it comes to love, but that if there is something else like (cough cough… A MARRIAGE) then you should re- think how great you love is. Plus no offense but how can you fall in love or want a woman when you never seen her. I love (note the sarcasm) how he doesn’t want to hurt his seneschal because he owes him as much to not steal his wife but then he throws that thought out cuz he wants a lover. Like WTF you just had a good thought to be loyal to your guy, but then you say, “Fuck it all!!” 

 

Well all I can say is that the King and the wife got what they deserved. YOU SHOULD NEVER LET THE PENIS RULE YOU!!!!! At least not where you’re becoming a home wrecker.

  

 

So now onto Le Fresne all I have to say is that Jealousy is a vile thing. Why would you go and start a rumor over a woman, let alone your neighbor just because she is carrying two twin boys. Instead of being happy LIKE ANY NORMAL PERSON you have to become a petty b*ach and start spreading rumors. Well guess what Karma must have been hella hungry cuz they came and bit you in the ass. Now it is you who is having twin girls. So to makes sure you don’t sound like a hypocrite you give away your baby. Does no one see anything wrong about giving up your baby to be sent to a convent?  But at least in the end it is on a happier note. The long lost twin is reunited with her family and then she got to marry her love. It was weird but ok I will go along with it. At least no one died.

Bisclavret was probably my favorite of the three. Maybe it is because I am OBSESSED with weird supernatural beings. All I know is that if my husband was part werewolf I would be jumping for joy. Well at least I would once I made sure he wouldn’t hurt me. If he was anything like Jacob from Twilight or like Scott from Teen Wolf.

 

I thought love meant that you stick together like glue and even if you know your man or you turn into a hideous creature your partner/lover should love you just the same If not more because your partner can TAKE CARE OF YOU BETTER!!! She a stupid hoe!!! How you going to abandon a great guy to marry an average Joe? like why would you give up on the sexiness????

  

In line 139 I liked how it said, “When the hounds were unleashed” it reminds me of hearing stories about the hounds of hell and how they were wild but protective of who they loved. I just find that interesting and I just got to say it’s her loss maybe she should have stuck with the sexy werewolf then she would still have a nose.

 

Hypocrisy and Loyalty...One in the Same?

Out of the stories we had to read for this week, the story of Equitan really got me thinking. It made me think about how some people are nothing but hypocrites. I assume that most people would expect that their significant other would be loyal to them, but for some strange reason, people sometimes think it's okay to do the exact opposite of what they want their partners to do. Take the seneschal's wife, for example. She clearly states to Equitan that he must remain loyal to her, while she, on the other hand, has no loyalty to her own husband. In other words, she's committing adultery, but doesn't want to be the victim of cheating herself. WHAT A HYPORCRITE!!

I'd like to compare this to modern day ideals on this subject. Cheating is, unfortunately, a regular occurrence in today's world. Sadly, I don't think the hypocrisy has gone away either. People can cheat all they want, but no one wants to be on the other side of it, meaning the cheater becomes the one being cheated on. I just don't understand why people can't be honest with each other. It is evident that cheating on someone isn't a new idea, so why hasn't anything been done to fix the problem? If people are honest about their feelings toward others, perhaps people won't jump into boiling water/throw their disloyal lovers into a boiling pot of death.

Courtly Love is Rage Inducing

No, but seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people?

Okay, okay. Maybe I shouldn't judge a bunch of dead people. It's not like it's going to change anything now. So, to really start out I should give Courtly Love some props. One, women were backing this movement and that's pretty freakin' awesome. To be able to commission what you want to see is rad as hell. I mean, we can do it all we want now with fic-prompts and artist commission drives online but I'm sure back then it wasn't one misspelled message away.  To be fair, these were wealthy women who could afford to sit around and read and bullshit rules for lower society to follow.. but its not nothing.

Another thing that is pretty bitchin' is the whole notion of defining and understanding love. It's a very scientific approach to an intensely emotional...thingy so I appreciate the desire for grounding. I guess it could be argued that it takes some of the romance and magic out of love but I say Bah to that. dissect it, poke it, get to the core of it, or as the Chaplain would say, "meditate"in it.

Ok, now onto why I actually really, strongly dislike the notion of courtly love.

 There is nothing mutual about anything that is going on in the rules of courtly love. Like, the woman could be anything else in the world and it wouldn't make a damn difference. She could be a freaking dining room chairs and there'd be no change because it's all about the man. And that isn't even really why it bugs me, it's just I can't understand how you're supposed to love someone but spending too much time with them could dampen that love...or that true love breaks all previous engagements and everyone is relatively cool with it. The man in love seems to be able to love without consequence while the world is shitting itself around him.

Stop, I can hear you saying, "But, Iris! He totally suffers. Didn't you read the very definition of Love? You dumbass, it says it right there that it's an inborn suffering."

That noise don't fly with me. So he has to get a bit of insomnia, lose his appetite, and think about his lady love all the time. 

Guess what the lady has to do? WHO THE HELL KNOWS BECAUSE THIS SURE AS SHIT AIN'T ABOUT HER!

All she has to do is be perceived as pretty by some guy who isn't old, young, blind, or horny. 

UNLESS, WOOO BOY HOWDY, UNLESS SHE IS A PEASANT. THEN, YOU CAN JUST RAPE HER BECAUSE SHES TOO DUMB AND TOO POOR TO KNOW WHEN WOOING IS HAPPENING!!!!!!

Okay, I'm calm. Bringing it down.

Don't mistake my rage for disrespect. I'm grateful that this has led to modern day romance novels because I soak that shit up like butter. But there is at least a teaspoon of personality in the characters. (GASP! BRAIN BLAST! Maybe it's supposed to be like a choose your own adventure book where you pretend to be the lady...hmmm.)

Graaah, There are so many other things I could yell about. For now,