Let's Talk About Death Baby

I know that we're supposed to be taking a look at the gods and how they're prayed to but I figure that we're going to be talking about that enough in class that I'll talk about something less relevant. I do have some related questions but that'll come after the awesome death of Arcite. Personally, I don't care for either Palamoun or Arcite but that death scene was cringe worthy.

Firstly, boy gets a page and a half of a death scene. I mean... I guess that's not very impressive in the context of this story...but they are some descriptive pages. His chest is broken to pieces, he's got blood poisoning, swelling. Just overall blech. I appreciate that this bit was left in and wasn't transformed into some glorious, honorable thing. I mean, he gets that through his own speech but his wounds aren't romanticized (and they shouldn't. THERE IS NOTHING SEXY ABOUT PUSS). 

Secondly, I don't actually have a second point. I'm on the fence with Arcite's dying words. Like...truth be told, if I were to write a fanfiction of this story Palamon and Arcite would be gettin it with each other. Even though his last words are a plea to Emelye, the most emotion is around Palamoun. Arcite lists off all these great things about Palamon (granting Emelye's prayer of their reconciliation) and they're meant to be mortal enemies in love. If that's not a rom-com plot then I don't know what is. Which is why him saying "Mercy, Emelye!" seemed like a cop out of love. In my opinion those are a lot less influential than what Arcite feels toward Palamoun but because Emelye is the pretty girl we need to tie in that romance plot (even though it's the weaker one in my opinion).

Thirdly, Arcite's death made me like Theseus a little bit more. I just appreciate that he brought some reality to the situation with the "everybody dies" speech. I know that at most deaths that's not the typical PC thing to say but I found the reminder helpful. I think that once you can normalize the death you've got control over your response. Yes, Arcite died of terrible battle wounds but people will always die...and...ya'know...your chances kinda increase when you challenge someone to a battle to the death. Just saying. 

Okay, so I don't really have a way to wrap this up so I'm just going to ask some unrelated questions. I'm curious to know what the feelings were about these mixed religions. You've got people praising God and the Greek Deities, so what's up with that? Why are some weapons seen as more honorable than others? That has never made since to me and it just makes me think of the logic of this scene.

Machismo (My secret love)

Ok, so remember how on Thursday I was all like, "Lancelot just wanted to whip out his dick when he crossed the sword bridge."

I have a confession.

I eat that shit up for breakfast.

OH GOD, NO! IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M IMPLYING I EAT DICKS! NOOOOOOOO.

What I mean to say is that I do like over exaggerated acts of macho-ness, but only in fictional settings. If you ever step up to me and pull anything like this crap just to show off manliness, I will junk punch you. But, if you happen to be a part of the Straw Hat pirate crew then I will swoon. Like, I will seriously loose my shit.

So why doesn't this work for the Knight of the Cart? Why aren't I excited to read about Lancelot fighting for his lady love while still wounded? Honestly, I don't have a rock solid answer.

My suspicion is that the narrator of the story is already doing my job as an audience member for me. Lets take the moment where King Bademagu spends 8 MILLION YEARS explaining to Lancelot that his wounds are too severe for him to fight the King's own bad-ass kid. Lancelot has to keep saying that he will go on, this fight isn't over, he won't sit down and rest, BLAH BLAH BLAH. I am seriously underwhelmed by the entire scene. If the king had kept his awe in check, maybe explain the severity of the wounds but not the necessity for healing I might have swooned. 

Now, past me would have tried to come up with some sort of excuse. Perhaps reader participation wasn't a big part of written works (bullshit), What if this is the way that they hype up situations (possibly). Again, I don't really have an answer to my question.

All this talk about manliness does bring me to King Bad. I don't know how to read him as a character. His idea of the honorable thing, the right thing, and I suspect the manly thing, is to surrender. 

Well, maybe the surrender bit isn't meant to be manly but the only thing that will maintain someone's manliness. What would a man be without his honor? Not a man. Still, King Bad is just so malleable as a leader and an individual which isn't something I typically associate with idolized manhood. And he doesn't even have the convenient excuse of being in Love with someone. Lancelot is a puppet of Love and I mean that in a nice way. I think. I haven't decided yet. 

Sexy Hospitality

I feel like there is always something about these readings that I find that, in the right hands, could be insightful. In mine they sorta turn into unintelligible mush but you know what, you got to play to your strengths.

What instantly struck me about Erec and Enide was the emphasis on looks. I mean, people are sexy in this story.

It's making me start to understand the romance part a bit more. I mean just listen to this, 

"Such beauty was his that nowhere on earth could be found a knight so handsome. Though not yet twenty-five, he was most noble, brave, and becoming. Never had any man his age displayed such valor. What more can I say of his good qualities?" (Chretien, pg.2)

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this is the fan service part for the ladies. I'm just working on the assumption that crazy machismo existed in this period and that there is an underlying 'no homo' stamped here.

(I hope that I'm wrong. Someone tell me that there was an abundance of homo happening, please.)

But, back to my point. While I still have no idea what Erec actually looks like, he sounds like a dream boat. Of course he's got nothing on the Vavasor's daughter. She is the bomb diggity. (OMG, STAY TO THE POINT IRIS.) 

Up until this point there hasn't been a moment where the attractiveness of the man took front seat to that of the woman's. That is what makes me buy that women were sponsors to this genre. 

Okay, so how does this get into hospitality? PLOT TWIST, It doesn't.

I don't know man, I couldn't make them relate to one another. It was just the other thing that kept popping into my mind as I read. I'm sure that hospitality is a sexy quality/ behavior to some.

 It is totally something that I'd like to know a little bit more about. In comparison to the way these stories explain hospitality, I am a terrible host. I was along for the ride with the vavasor right up until he gave away his daughter that he apparently was super fond of (just not enough to keep). It's a great moment of plot progression but it is...seedy? And even for the time it seems seedy. It doesn't appear to me that Erec has any proof that he could provide for his new lady friend but the dad was none to bothered by it.

If I were to make a chart, hospitality would be up there on some of the best qualities to have in any medieval story. I'm assuming its got to do with Jesus, in part, but it must also be cultural. I wonder where that went because I know that if someone rolled up to my door right now they are not getting a meal, information, a horse cleaning, and my daughter. No matter who they claim to be. Wow, now that I say all of that I feel like it can all be summed up with suspension of disbelief and that I should just get over it. 

Whelp, I wrote an incoherent blog post about it anyway. So there!

Courtly Love is Rage Inducing

No, but seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people?

Okay, okay. Maybe I shouldn't judge a bunch of dead people. It's not like it's going to change anything now. So, to really start out I should give Courtly Love some props. One, women were backing this movement and that's pretty freakin' awesome. To be able to commission what you want to see is rad as hell. I mean, we can do it all we want now with fic-prompts and artist commission drives online but I'm sure back then it wasn't one misspelled message away.  To be fair, these were wealthy women who could afford to sit around and read and bullshit rules for lower society to follow.. but its not nothing.

Another thing that is pretty bitchin' is the whole notion of defining and understanding love. It's a very scientific approach to an intensely emotional...thingy so I appreciate the desire for grounding. I guess it could be argued that it takes some of the romance and magic out of love but I say Bah to that. dissect it, poke it, get to the core of it, or as the Chaplain would say, "meditate"in it.

Ok, now onto why I actually really, strongly dislike the notion of courtly love.

 There is nothing mutual about anything that is going on in the rules of courtly love. Like, the woman could be anything else in the world and it wouldn't make a damn difference. She could be a freaking dining room chairs and there'd be no change because it's all about the man. And that isn't even really why it bugs me, it's just I can't understand how you're supposed to love someone but spending too much time with them could dampen that love...or that true love breaks all previous engagements and everyone is relatively cool with it. The man in love seems to be able to love without consequence while the world is shitting itself around him.

Stop, I can hear you saying, "But, Iris! He totally suffers. Didn't you read the very definition of Love? You dumbass, it says it right there that it's an inborn suffering."

That noise don't fly with me. So he has to get a bit of insomnia, lose his appetite, and think about his lady love all the time. 

Guess what the lady has to do? WHO THE HELL KNOWS BECAUSE THIS SURE AS SHIT AIN'T ABOUT HER!

All she has to do is be perceived as pretty by some guy who isn't old, young, blind, or horny. 

UNLESS, WOOO BOY HOWDY, UNLESS SHE IS A PEASANT. THEN, YOU CAN JUST RAPE HER BECAUSE SHES TOO DUMB AND TOO POOR TO KNOW WHEN WOOING IS HAPPENING!!!!!!

Okay, I'm calm. Bringing it down.

Don't mistake my rage for disrespect. I'm grateful that this has led to modern day romance novels because I soak that shit up like butter. But there is at least a teaspoon of personality in the characters. (GASP! BRAIN BLAST! Maybe it's supposed to be like a choose your own adventure book where you pretend to be the lady...hmmm.)

Graaah, There are so many other things I could yell about. For now,