Always The Bridesmaid Never the Bride

Title is in reference that I never get EVERYTHING I want from a story... but ohhh so close.

I have never felt so unsatisfied. I know the ending is supposed to be happy, and I am happy that everything ended up well for Emare. However, her father’s desires for her kept popping into my head. About three-fourths into the story, I decided that karma would seriously bite the Emperor in the butt.

I guess I was wrong…

I appreciate Emare’s character, and I love how she is able to endure hardship after hardship and still be a loving person. Her romance with the King of Wales is one of the most pure to me out of all the stories we have read. (He didn’t fall in love with her from a tower, sexually harass her, or steal her from another marriage.) Minus her ship story, I feel like their meeting and marriage is the most similar to a possible modern courtship scenario.

(I know Can't Hardly Wait did follow this script, but I imagine wales was focused in on Emare just like that.)

1.)    Meet at a party

2.)    Ask friends and family about their opinions

3.)    Tell family, but respectfully reject their input

4.)    Pursue!

I feel like they have a mutual respect for each other. The only reason why shit goes down the way it does is because the King has a crazy mother. Even after being separated for so long, the King and Emare still love each other. At the end, the King and Emare happily reunite, the King sees and loves his son, and he exiles his crazy mother.

But then….

The Emperor, who banished his daughter because she wouldn’t marry him, comes around because of a guilty conscience and is forgiven…

I honestly enjoyed most of the story. I felt like despite the settings and what not… the love story is relatable. The beginning made me angry, but the rest of the story made up for it… except for the end. There needs to be justice. The King exiled his mother for trying to destroy his family. Does a parent who desires his daughter and puts her in harm’s way not deserve equal punishment? Ultimately, it is Emare’s loving nature that allows her to forgive her father.

My perfect ending would be:

… The emperor grows old. He reaches out to his daughter, but Emare tells him that he is dead to her. He feels so guilty for everything that he has done… and moves on to a boat rocking on top of the crashing waves… sobbing day and night until his death.

(Or can one of these guys do something in the name of Justice???)

However, I realize that there is a deeper message in this story, which is perhaps why religion is referenced in the beginning and the end. Perhaps this story is about mercy and forgiveness. The King shows mercy to his mother by not executing her, and Emare forgives her father.

Life is like a box of fancy chocolates.. there are always some crappy flavors... but enjoy the good ones.

I don't know about that pigs n taters... but at least these chocolates are labeled. 

The “Shoving Almost Every Courtly Love Rule Award” goes to ... Geoff with a G Chaucer… for “The Knight’s Tale!”

I am not kidding. Out of every story that we have read so far, this story is the ultimate portrayal of Courtly Love. The only rule missing is the whole “adultery in a marriage is cool” rule. All the jealousy, obsession, and suffering rules are present in the story.

Anyways, I feel like this tale is really about fortune and destiny. Arcite, Palomon, and Emelye’s futures seem to be predetermined by the games of the gods and goddesses. This story really reminds me of “The Iliad”. The Gods determined the destinies of the characters, but this does not necessarily mean that the mortals are powerless. They make the decisions of how to act if they are dealt with bad fortune or good fortune. (Which honestly, even if a character receives good fortune, do they really get to enjoy their good fortune for long? Cough… Arcite.) I mean, I feel like this guy’s destiny was determined by the gods from the beginning. Mercury tells him to go back to Athens… and he makes the decision to go back. This results in his death, but he probably would have died anyways from love deprivation. He makes the best of his “freak accident” death by dying in honor. Emelye’s destiny is to marry one of the knights. Even though she tries to get out of the marriage, Diana says no. Emelye decides to accept it, and she eventually does end up in a happy marriage with Palomon.

I frequently hear that this tale focuses on gender roles and feminism, but I disagree with this. Every man and woman is ultimately powerless to the gods. The gods decide the course and fate of everyone. The woman are portrayed as emotional and have the power to persuade; however, I do not think Chaucer added this in as a way to show feminism or gender roles. I mean Emelye can’t even get out of the marriage. It’s more to show that the true power lies in the hands of the gods. Before the battle, Chaucer goes into long descriptions about the extravagance of each temple and worships to the gods. In some ways, I feel like Chaucer is either mocking religion or showing the importance of devotion in religion. Overall, I think Chaucer is basically saying that…

Life is full of suffering… tough luck... but, you can make the best of it.

<---- Suffering

A Guide To Making Adultery Acceptable-- Warning: High Failure Rate If Not Set in a MedRom

What’s the deal with the adultery in this story? Unless I am misunderstanding or missed a part, his love, honor, and loyalty to Guinevere seems to pardon that whole part of the story. Well, they are caught because he bleeds on her bed; however, I feel like Chretien wants us to forgive him because his devotion is so romantic. After some sexy time…..

Chretien reveals a tortured Lancelot:

“But the day’s approach pained him deeply since he had to rise from his beloved’s side. Rising made him feel like a martyr, for he suffered the agony of martyrdom in the torture of departure…”

Hey, Chretien, you didn’t throw me off track! I still realize there’s adultery going on here! But, I guess in the art of courtly love, marriage is squashed by real love.

No, but really, I do understand that Lancelot as a character is revealed through this affair. Without his love for Guinevere, he would probably be just another knight and boring to follow. It is through her that we see how chivalrous he is. His initial push to go on this crazy journey was to rescue her. I guess it is sweet that he does everything for her… like do his worst… In response to her request to fight horribly in a tournament, Lancelot says, “Since this is her command, I am grateful to her” (241).

Really…?? Let’s not forget that he shamed himself riding in a cart and has a bajillion wounds from this quest to rescue her. I promise that I am not a person jaded by romance.

From our last class discussion, many of us wondered why the knights were not named… specifically, why Lancelot was referred to as “the knight”. In my opinion, this story is about how a woman can complete a man. His and her love is so strong that they are always associated with one another; therefore, his identity is not important without her. Since she is missing in the first half of the story, he is just a knight on a journey.

I really want to know how others feel about Guinevere. I mean, she seems like she wears the pants in their relationship. At the same time, I think she is stuck in a loveless marriage. I feel bad for her at times, but she sure does act like a spoiled little girl. I mean, come on… okay, he didn’t go into the cart right away? He hesitated? The man ended up riding in the cart, give him a break!

Knights, Honor, Adventure... and Tons of Ass Kissing

Marie’s lais held my attention because they were to the point. I struggled with Erec and Enide. The first half of the book had a certain rhythm to it: super slow, fast, slow, fast, slow. The amount of character descriptions and imagery are not my cup of tea.

“… Erec, a member of the Round Table, who enjoyed great renown at the court. Since he had his that nowhere on earth could be found a knight so handsome. Though not yet twenty-five, he was most noble, brace, and becoming. Never had any man his age displayed such valor. What more can I say of his good qualities?” (2)

There is actually a good story mixed in with the superficial ass kissing repetition. Erec represents an honorable knight by granting Sir Yder mercy. Enide is very different from the women in Marie’s lais. I feel like she proves to be adventurous as she travels with Erec, and love is mutual between the two. Unlike in Marie’s lais, I never found myself questioning who I disliked more or felt sorry for. (Although, as I mentioned earlier… there is quite a bit of unnecessary ass kissing between the two of them.) Even though those specific lines bore me, I do feel like Erec and Enide have mutual respect for each other. They both seem to give each other inspiration. I doubt Erec would have been as “eager for the combat” (10).  Perhaps I am over thinking this, but I found the part where Enide prepares Erec for combat a sign of equality and support.

“She made fine work of arming him from head to toe” (10).

He wants to fight for her. She helps him prepare for battle. He battles and wins. She is gifted the Sparrowhawk.

While most of the lais we read had some scandalous relationships happening, this story follows the meeting and life of a married couple. Instead of meeting here or there in secrecy, Erec and Enide are always together. The troubles arise more so in Erec’s duties as a knight. (I’m not sure how the knights kept their titles in Marie’s lais. They were always busy chasing women; however, the knightly duties were never questioned.) This appears to be a story about a couple encountering moments of jadedness. I have not read the second half of the story; however, it seems as if the momentum of the story is going in the direction of the two adventuring to get past the bores of marital life. I foresee Enide being as equally important in the second half.

I would have finished the story if I wasn't so tired out by the really boring imagery and ass kissing parts of the story.

The Steamy Beach Read Including Prejudice and Creepiness

After two paragraphs of Capellanus’, The Art of Courtly Love, I felt like I just read the classification of a stalker. The examples of what torments a man before “love becomes equally balanced on both sides” (Capellanus, 30) are obsessive and superficial. One fear made me shake my head more than the others: “[I]f he is rich, he fears that his parsimony in the past may stand in his way” (Capellanus, 30). The ugly man and the poor man’s fears are valid but superficial; however, the rich man’s seems like an obsessive person purposely creating reasons to torment himself.

The rest of the book implicates how the rules of courtly love are distasteful and delusional. First, courtly love appears to be homophobic: “Whatever nature forbids, love is ashamed to accept” (Capellanus, 32). I instantly thought that according to the rules of courtly love, a man raping a woman will shame love less than a homosexual couple. Then, love has an age criteria. While men have a minimum age requirement, women have a cut off age. The ages fall into the age ranges for procreation. While I think there should be a minimum age to fully understand love, a woman is capable of having a passionate relationship after the age of fifty. The book ends with the story of the knight and his British lady. It is in the style of a bad role-playing game with ridiculous quests for reciprocated love. By the end of the story, King of Love proclaims the thirty-one rules of courtly love. The thirty-one rules support adultery and obsession, and they are mainly based on superficial grounds. My favorite one could possibly kill a person: “He whom the thought of love vexes eats and sleeps very little” (185).

Courtly love stories appealed to the rich, who were literate and could afford leisurely activities. Many wealthy couples were married based on status rather than attraction or love; therefore, many unhappy marriages existed. The story in Capellanus’ book illustrates a woman able to persuade a man to do anything to please her. This tells me that the tales of courtly love were written mainly for a female audience. The audience is not interested in reading stories similar to their own mundane marriages. Instead, they are interested in indulging in stories about a fantasy life within social acceptance. This is why the love is never between homosexuals and the main characters are within the higher social classes (lady and knight). What more could a woman want than a man tormenting himself until he is willing to do anything for his lady love? Who wants to read a story about a man wooing an old lady?

Courtly love stories seem comparable to the romantic steamy beach reads with a twist of prejudice and obsession.