The Fun of Middle English

I'm going to do something a little different and not about the story but about Middle English. I much prefer the sound of Middle English to modern English. Don't take this to mean I can speak it (I am awful at speaking modern English and that's my native tongue) nor should I lie and say it is easy to read. I like my standardized spelling, dammit! But it's so much more rhapsodic. As I read it aloud as practice to myself and for my shame haven't improved my diction but I have noticed some things…

I am speaking in some weird Scottish/Irish mix since Mitchell-Buck read it aloud in that way. And something else weird is appearing in my pronunciation. About a year ago I helped my girlfriend with her German flashcards and let a friend practice his Norwegian by speaking it to me and because of that experience I'm noticing a pattern of spelling reminiscent to those languages even if there are no formal rules to spelling in Middle English. Heck, you might’ve even read the same word spelled different times each time! This definitely makes the reading hard but maybe I find it appealing in the same way I find a puzzle appealing…

Anyway, Germanic roots! So it feels like I’m speaking German or Norwegian but I actually know what I’m saying. I’m even tempted to pronounce “w” as “v.” I’ve also read Old English which really does seem like Norwegian to me but with more letters (especially since Thorn is such a fun letter).

O Futhark, my old Norse friend…

Now that’s old Nordic runes. Looks a lot like English, huh? That’s what I thought, too. Good thing the language I took in high school and college is Latin! Six years! Still have no idea how to translate… But it does provide insight to English! Namely, we use the Latin alphabet which was modified from Greek which was modified from Phoenician (which oddly isn’t spelled phonetically?). The words are still misspelled but they are pronounced more similarly to their Latin roots. For example, “auctoritee” from the first line of the prologue is supposed to be authority but looks more like “auctoritas,” the same exact meaning but pronounced differently. It’s things like that I find more interesting; that in about 2500 years not a lot about language has changed but those little differences make the past difficult to understand and life hell for college English students.

-Brian Edwards

HAHAHA, WOMEN! AM I RIGHT GUYS?!

So there's a land where fairies used to dance and play in happy meadows, and there's a young knight wandering through it on his way back from falconing, and he sees a chick alone so he rapes her, as any man would do after a long day's falconing. And then instead of killing him, the queen says they'll spare his life if he can go on a one year journey and find out what it is that women want the most.

He should have just asked to be killed, AM I RIGHT?! Who could ever figure out what women want, RIGHT MEN?! Women! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA so funny everyone loves jokes about men resenting their wives and not understanding their partners. Nothing hurtful or disrespectful there, no sir! 

HAHAHA THIS IS WHAT MARRIAGE IS LIKE AM I RIGHT

So sir Rapesalot heads out on his quest to find out what chicks dig, but they all tell him different stuff, which can't be right because obviously all women are the same and all want the same thing. So he finds the old hag that tells him (like so many people in these stories do) that he has to sign a blank check redeemable for one promise, so he does. As it turns out, women just want to have power over men, which really isn't the worst thing to want at this time, since they're getting raped left and right then pardoned for it (at the request of other women for some reason).

She cashes in on the promise by trapping him into marriage (HAHAHA EVERY MARRIAGE IS A TRAP AM I RIGHT) and he's like "damn, this sucks cuz you ain't a 10, you a 0." So this magical lady with a train-wreck face asks if he'd rather have an ugly loyal wife or a hot slut, and he's like "idk what do you want?" and because he lets her choose, he gets a hot and loyal wife, which would otherwise obviously not be possible, because women can't be pretty and nice at the same time.


So here's what we've learned:

1) Rape is okay if you go on a quest afterward so someone can explain why it was bad
2) All women are the same and want the same thing and it's power
2) Being indecisive will get you laid
3) MARRIAGE IS A TRAP AM I RIGHT HAHAHAH

How do you say “The Wife of Bath’s Tale” in Middle English?

First off, why the Middle English? I mean come on! It was such a pain; I literally had to go back and forth between the two books just to make sure I understood everything…I know I know. I’m going to have to get used to it anyways. Interestingly enough, I tried to make the accent and sound like Dr. MB when she reading this…it didn't work out.

Now all that’s aside, onto the story. I actually enjoyed this story. I thought I could have referenced what I was reading to myself. Not the rape part! But about how much power the women held. First things first, why the rape? Knights are suppose to be honorable and loyal, not rapist. Out of all the acts he could have done, he rapes a random maiden that just so happen to be walking past him? This part of the story is what helps trigger the power of women.

So now, about his savor. Did you ever wonder why King Arthur willingly gave the queen the power to decide on what to do with this knight? This was pretty confusing and a turning point for me. The queen was nice enough to give the knight a second chance. All the women in the court, the queen included, wanted to give him another chance before he killed…but why? It was confusing to me why the queen would even want to spare his life in the first place. But! This is where the knight started to lose his power. He knew that he committed a crime, and in order to gain his position back, he must follow orders from a WOMEN. I loved this. She gave him a time limit that he must fulfill, and boy did he make sure he got back in time to give a proper answer.

This whole thing about him learning a lesson, I believe that he did. As a knight, he did keep his word with the old women. Even though he was stunned by her request, he had no choice but to marry her. He really looked down upon her because she was old and ugly, but was that really the case? The old woman goes on and on about the choices she offers her husband. I wish she had turned pretty and treated him differently just for him to get a taste of his own medicine! In the end, he was the one willingly giving up his power to his wife to make the decision for the marriage. He knew that by doing so, it is her that help saved his life. Isn't it ironic that he told the queen that what women desire the most is sovereignty and control over their husbands? Well! In this case, he fell right into it.

Ugly ducklings need love too!

Kneeghts and Fayerays: Every Middle (English) Man for Themselves

This story was a complete and total whirlwind. I've never read Middle English before, so I decided that it would be best to read the entire thing out loud and get a feel for the words. It is so very, very difficult not to say knight as nite instead of KNEECHT and might as MEECHT, but it was a learning experience, and was actually really enjoyable and hilarious.   

Im heer to ruine alle youre lives. 

That being said, I did like the story overall. I thought there was a bit of a change in the Wife's sermon now that we read it in the original text, that there was more emphasis placed on poverty than what the modern English version had given us. Maybe it's just because it's a different form of English, but I felt there was a lot more emphasis placed on the socioeconomic status of the wife. 

I also felt it was easier to disconnect from the kneecht and his crime, maybe because it takes a little longer to process the words, but...  I didn't see too much emphasis on character? I mean, there are Distinct People here who Do Things, but aside from the fact that the kneecht is a completely shitty person, there's not a lot of who they are. I couldn't really feel much personality from any of them, which is always strange for me in a piece of literature. 

(and now I'm going to forever refer to "knights" as "kneechts" and no one can stop me)

The Wife of Bath's Tale

I sort of really enjoyed reading The Wife of Bath’s Tale due to the rhyming.  Rhymes are simply universal, they’re always fun.  However, The Canterbury Tales version was less than enjoyable…  

This story revolves around the idea of power.  How much power should a person have and who should that person be?  Classic men verse women and too much verse too little.  The story begins with rape – a knight taking advantage of whatever power he has as a knight and using it against women.  At first I didn’t understand why all the women immediately came to his defense to help save his life.  But that’s when the tables turned in this story.  The knight went from having all of the power to having none.  The women were in charge, controlling whether he lived or died. I’m not sure if they even cared whether he died or not, as long as he felt the same powerlessness that he had done to the girl he had raped.  But is that really the best way to teach someone a lesson?  You hit someone, so they can hit you back?  You could argue that it is a little hypocritical. 

However, it ends exactly the way the women want it to, of course.  He “learns his lesson” by giving his wife all the power to make decisions, since after all, the thing women want most is power over their husbands.  But how is that fair?  These women have issues with men having all the power, but only because they want it all.  In reality, nobody should have all the power. 

The topics in this story, like sex and marriage and decision making should all be mutual.

I don’t think the knight has learned his lesson of the crime he committed.  I think he learned what he has to do in order to get what he wants.  As long as he gives his wife the power, she will give him what he wants. But then who really has the power?  And does it even matter if he has learned his lesson? Either way, he’s giving his wife control, which is what she wants.  And in return, she is giving him what he wants.  So technically, they should both be happy.  But logically, it makes no sense.  By the wife having all the power, it’s really the same as her having none since she is willing to do anything for him anyway.  Everyone in this story needs to realize that too much power in any situation is just bad. 

Happy Wife, Happy Life

          So the popular topic of conversation regarding this tale seems to be whether or not we think the knight learned his lesson in the end.  All I could think was well…he’s married now…isn’t that punishment enough? But all jokes aside, I can’t really say I was thinking about whether he learned his lesson or not by the time I finished the Wife of Bath’s tale.  I was strangely satisfied with the ending, actually.  Believe me that one definitely came as a surprise. 

          

          Actually, I kept referencing the Wife of Bath’s prologue instead.  The narrator of this story is the Wife herself, and she’s—for lack of a better term—a badass.  Many people think of her as an early feminist. (Not the man-hating type, but the real ones who take charge of their lives and do what they want.) The Wife loves men, actually, because she’s been married umpteen times.  At the end of her prologue her husband basically beats her up and she reciprocates with just as much force. She’s all like “always do what I say and we won’t have a problem again.” I can respect that…happy wife, happy life, eh?

          So with that in mind, I resolve to say that he did learn his lesson, in a way.  Now, I’m not condoning rape…but think about this: How many men actually find a definitive answer for what women want? And in a way this is totally true we want to have power over our men, or at least be equal with them.  And I kind of give him credit for being able to look past his wife’s ugliness long enough to consider that trusting her would be a good idea.  He puts all his power in her hands, and to quote the English version, he says, “You choose, for pleasing you now pleases me” (1235).  In that moment, he sacrifices all his power to her.  In the end, she was right all along, and he realizes that by the end of this story. Rather than just believe it because he wants to save his own life, he sees that what she says is true.  And I personally give him props for looking past her ugliness for two seconds she could show him the truth.  Can we say the same for some of the other men we've read about in these medieval stories? Relatively speaking, they kind of get a happy ending. 

          This story isn’t just about learning to respect women.  It’s also about learning to find humility and respect people in general.  Yeah, it’s about women gaining power (because the Wife is the ultimate symbol of power herself) but it’s also a great story to show how people deserve redemption and forgiveness. This knight lives because he serves as an example. He does a complete 180 by the end of this story.  Shouldn’t he get credit for that?  I think a happy ending is nice once in a while. 

He gets what now?

As I finished The Wife of Bath's Tale, I immediately had to re-read it. Even translated into modern day english I found I had to double back to understand what had taken place. Now, I will admit I'm still working through the middle english version...that's some rough language.
I can't believe that the knight, who completely disregarded his knightly code of honor and committed such a disgusting act, still got "redemption". Not to mention his wife went all Hocus Pocus and suddenly the ugly crusty woman he forced himself to marry is now beautiful and everything is peachy. Yeah, he really learned his lesson.

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This knight, someone who is supposed to be widely respected and trusted, violated a girl in the worst way possible. But it's okay cause the fairy queen-lady-thing gave him a good talking-to so he totally learned what he did was a no-no. Seriously? Even if the queen decided to send him on this impossible task(seemingly impossible at the time) I would still argue she should have let the guy die. Forever.

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Another issue I had with this particular little tale is when the hag told the knight her ugliness should be a security to him. “Don’t worry, the fact I’m ugly means I’m less likely to cheat on you.” Are we really going there right now? Did I really just read that? How about the knight made a promise to do whatever you want, a situation he got himself into in the first place, and whether or not he likes you he should honor that promise. OH WAIT! He raped a girl so I can see how she would worry he might cheat, but never ever should a girl think of herself like that. Even if she is a fairy queen who totally and completely knows what she is doing by manipulating the entire story, it still infuriated me.

https://33.media.tumblr.com/fe69a267bad77c9ff17a79a938e53718/tumblr_n93rfq1CU31tfo43go2_500.gif

So, do I think he really learned his lesson after the really long sermon? Not really. I’m curious if anyone did. Even still, should the hag have transformed herself into a younger woman in despite of his crime? Maybe. I don’t believe he deserved it, he violated everything knights stand for: chivalry, honor, respect. He ignored all of them just to satisfy himself. I wonder what people thought of this story when it was written...would they agree or disagree with what we are saying now?

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