Another thing that is pretty bitchin' is the whole notion of defining and understanding love. It's a very scientific approach to an intensely emotional...thingy so I appreciate the desire for grounding. I guess it could be argued that it takes some of the romance and magic out of love but I say Bah to that. dissect it, poke it, get to the core of it, or as the Chaplain would say, "meditate"in it.
Ok, now onto why I actually really, strongly dislike the notion of courtly love.
There is nothing mutual about anything that is going on in the rules of courtly love. Like, the woman could be anything else in the world and it wouldn't make a damn difference. She could be a freaking dining room chairs and there'd be no change because it's all about the man. And that isn't even really why it bugs me, it's just I can't understand how you're supposed to love someone but spending too much time with them could dampen that love...or that true love breaks all previous engagements and everyone is relatively cool with it. The man in love seems to be able to love without consequence while the world is shitting itself around him.
Stop, I can hear you saying, "But, Iris! He totally suffers. Didn't you read the very definition of Love? You dumbass, it says it right there that it's an inborn suffering."
That noise don't fly with me. So he has to get a bit of insomnia, lose his appetite, and think about his lady love all the time.
Guess what the lady has to do? WHO THE HELL KNOWS BECAUSE THIS SURE AS SHIT AIN'T ABOUT HER!
All she has to do is be perceived as pretty by some guy who isn't old, young, blind, or horny.
UNLESS, WOOO BOY HOWDY, UNLESS SHE IS A PEASANT. THEN, YOU CAN JUST RAPE HER BECAUSE SHES TOO DUMB AND TOO POOR TO KNOW WHEN WOOING IS HAPPENING!!!!!!
Okay, I'm calm. Bringing it down.
Don't mistake my rage for disrespect. I'm grateful that this has led to modern day romance novels because I soak that shit up like butter. But there is at least a teaspoon of personality in the characters. (GASP! BRAIN BLAST! Maybe it's supposed to be like a choose your own adventure book where you pretend to be the lady...hmmm.)
Graaah, There are so many other things I could yell about. For now,
I loved reading what you had to say because it was very entertaining, but you also brought up some excellent points! You were brutally honest with your opinion of the rules and ideas presented. One point that you brought up that really stuck with me was the fact that the woman doesn't really matter because in reality at this time, it actually was all about the man. I couldn't have said it better myself! All the woman has to do is sit there and be pretty. There is more to women than that!
ReplyDeleteFirst off I just want to say that I really enjoyed reading what you had to say. I agree with your point about how apparently to love someone you have to be away from them. I always believed that if you love/like someone that you would want to be around them as much as possible. As well as the fact that you don’t know anything about the woman and how instead it’s solely focused on the man. I get that the story is about the man but women shouldn’t be subjected to just being an object to look at.
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